๐๐จ๐ฐ ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ฉ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐๐ฎ๐ก๐๐ฆ๐ฆ๐๐ ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฏ๐๐ฌ.
Indeed, In Muhammad You Have a GOOD EXAMPLE to follow (Qurโan 33:21)
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) enjoined kind treatment and honouring of oneโs wife, and he described the best of people as those who are best to their wives.
He said: โThe best of you are those who are the best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.โ Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3895; Ibn Maajah, 1977; classed as sahih by al-Albani in Sahih al-Tirmidhi.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) spoke beautiful word concerning kind treatment of oneโs wife, stating that when the husband feeds his wife and puts a morsel of food in her mouth, he earns the reward of doing an act of charity. He said, โYou never spend anything, but you will be rewarded for it, even the morsel of food that you lift to your wifeโs mouth.โ Narrated by al-Bukhari, 6352; Muslim, 1628.
Table of contents
1) Understanding their Jealousy and Love
2) Complaining to and consulting them.
3) Demonstrating his Love & Loyalty to them
4) Choosing the Best Nicknames to them.
5) Choosing the Best Nicknames for them.
6) Eating & drinking with them with love
7) Not Complaining of their Circumstances.
8) Leaning & Sleeping in their Laps.
9) Going on Picnics & Accompanying Them.
10) Helping them in the Household Duties.
11) Calming Them Down when they are Panicking.
12) Giving Presents and Showing Respect and Affection to their Friends.
13) Expressing joy at their happiness.
14) Feeling Pleased when they are Glad.
15) Trying the best to make them happy.
16) Treating each one of the equally.
17) Racing and playing with them.
18) Saving them from any harm.
19) Consoling and forgiving them in major issues
1) Understanding their Jealousy and Love.
Umm Salama โ May Allah be pleased with her โ narrated: she brought food in a dish of her own to the Prophet โ Peace be upon him โ and his companions. Seeing that, Aisha came holding a tool and broke the dish out of jealousy. Understanding the situation.
The Prophet took the two halves of the dish and Prophet Muhammed Peace be upon him said to his companions: Eat your food, it is just the jealousy of your mother, then the Prophet took the dish of Aisha and gave it to Um Salama and gave the dish of Um Salama to Aisha.
[Sunan Al Nasai, Book 37, Hadith 3973]
It was narrated that ‘Aisha said:
“I never saw any woman who made food like Safiyyah. She sent a dish to the Prophet in which was some food, and I could not keep myself from breaking it (due to jealousy). I asked the Prophet what the expiation was for that, and he said: ‘A dish like that dish, and food like that food.
[Ref: Sunan an-Nasa’i 3957]
“The Prophet was with one of the mothers of the Believers when another one sent a wooden bowl in which was some food. She struck the hand of the Prophet and the bowl fell and broke. The Prophet picked up the two pieces and put them together, then he started to gather up the food and said: ‘Your mother got jealous; eat.’ So, they ate.
He waited until she brought the wooden bowl that was in her house, then he gave the sound bowl to the messenger and left the broken bowl in the house of the one who had broken it.”
[Ref: Sunan an-Nasa’i 3955]
Imam an-Nasaa’ee has written an entire chapter on Jealousy in his Sunan. You can see it here
He has also compiled an entire book within his Sunan, titled ” The Book of the Kind Treatment of Women” and you can see it here
It is narrated by Anas (r.a): Every night the Prophet’s wives used to collect in the house of the wife whose turn it was (for the prophet to stay with for that night). Zaynab (r.a) entered A’isha’s house and the Prophet Peace be upon him extended his hand so A’isha (r.a) said ‘She is Zaynab’.
So, the prophet Peace be upon him closed his fist and both (wives) began arguing until their voices became very loud. Abu Bakr (r.a) who was passing by, heard them, and said: I feel like throwing dirt in their mouths.
The time for prayer had approached so the prophet Peace be upon him got up and left without saying anything to her (A’isha), but Abu Bakr (r.a) came back and scolded A’isha (r.a) (for disturbing the prophet by her argument)
[Sahih Muslim, Hadith no. 1462]
Imam al Nawawi said: The phrase ” Feel like throwing dirt (dust) in their mouths” shows or means that Abu bakr (r.a) wanted to stop their fighting because it was causing annoyance to the prophet peace be upon him [Sharh Muslim: 10/39]
2) Complaining to and consulting them.
In the year 6 Ah, Rasool Peace be upon him and 1400 of his Sahab as left Madinah for Makkah with the intention of performing Umrah. The kaafirs of Quraish, in their pride and evilness, prevented Muslims from entering into Makkah. Consequently, the prophet Peace be upon him encamped at a valley called “Al Hudaibiyyah” and signed a peace treaty with the Kaafirs of Quraish.
One of the points chalked in the treaty were that there will be no more wars between them for 10 years and that Muslims should return to Makkah the following (next) year to do their pilgrimage. This was contradictory to what the Sahabah=Companions of the Prophet had planned.
And they were angry and offended by the terms and conditions of the treaty and deemed it an insult to them. Arabs are a man of honour, and this is reflected in their original culture.
Nevertheless, they were more offended as they had to enter Madinah back again without having entered Makkah. Thereafter signing the treaty, the prophet Peace be upon him commanded them to carry on with the rituals of Umrah at the valley itself.
Thus, he told them to slaughter their animals and shave their heads. They all heard him but not a single person got up to carry out his peace be upon him’s order. So, Prophet Muhammed Peace be upon him repeated the command three times and still not one sahaba got up to obey.
After seeing that no one was ready to comply with the order, he Peace be upon him went to Umm salamah (r.a) an told her about the entire incident. Upon hearing this, umm salamah (r.a) advised him to go out to them, without telling them anything and slaughter his animal and shave his heads in front of them to see.
The prophet Peace be upon him took her advice and did as Ummal Momineen advised. When the Sahabah=Companions of the Prophet saw that Prophet Muhammed Peace be upon him slaughtered his animal and shaved his head, then they all got up to follow and copy him. They helped shave each other with zeal and enthusiasm to the extent that they almost shaved the very skin.
[Sahih Al Bukhari, Hadith 2731]
[See also: Al-Bidaaya Wan-Nihaaya by Ibn Kathir Vol. 4, p. 178 and Fath Al Bari – Ibn Hajar – 5/347]
3) Demonstrating his Love & Loyalty to them
Anas may Allah be pleased with him reported that there was man of Persian descent as a neighbour to the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him and he was excellent in preparing soup (and even food). And one day he invited the Messenger of Allah Peace be upon him to his house.
The Prophet Peace be upon him and (mother of believers only) `Aisha were seated (in their house when the neighbour came) so the Persian using hand gesture only invited the Prophet (alone) but the Prophet Peace be upon him replied (using gesture) to invite `Aisha as well.
So the neighbour said No, but only you alone (and said all of this using gesture/sign only and there was no verbal speech between them. Neither the prophet spoke nor the neighbour. So the neighbour insisted on his request thrice using gestures/signs and so did the Prophet Peace be upon him reply via gestures alone clarifying that he will not come except if `Aisha is invited to eat from the menu as well.)
So after the prophet Peace be upon him refused thrice (to go alone), the neighbour then permitted both him and `Aisha (r.a) to come.
The Prophet โ Peace be upon him โ told Aisha in the long tradition of Um Zara’ narrated by Al-Muslim : I am in my love and loyalty to you just like Abi Zara’ and Um Zara” Aisha replied: You are dearer to me more than my father and mother, you are even more loyal and loving than Abi Zara’ to Um Zara”.
[Ref: Sahih Muslim, Book 31, Hadith 5998]
This is a long but beautiful hadith. It describes the event that some women were cribbing about their husbands, so on and so forth and then one woman praised her husband (who divorced her later) in such an outstanding way that prophet Peace be upon him in a romantic gesture compared his love to his. I strongly recommend you read the entire hadith at:
Hafsa, daughter of ‘Abd al-Rahman b. Abu Bakr, reported that ‘A’isha narrated to her that she and the Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him) took a bath from the same vessel which contained water equal to three Mudds or thereabout.
[Ref: Sahih Muslim, Book 3, Hadith 628]
4) Choosing the Best Nicknames for them.
One of these occasions is where `A’ishah was watching the Ethiopian acrobats in the in the performing mosque and the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “O Humayrรข’, do you wish to watch them?”
[Sunan al-Nasaee Al Kubra (5/307)]
Aisha (r.a) was called as Humayra because she was white skinned or had rosy cheeks. It showed how beautiful she was.
In another narration, even though prophet Peace be upon him had a lot of other important works to do, he asked Aisha (r.a) if she wished to see the Ethiopians perform their art, and when she said yes, then prophet Peace be upon him covered her and stood covering her so that she could watch as long as she pleased.
[Musnad Ahmad,26358]
Important Note:
That all the narrations which mentions or addresses Aisha (r.a) s Humayra are fabricated or Da’eef=Weak except the one mentioned above in Al Nasaee and this was the aqwaal of Hafidh Al Mizzi which was further corrected by Ibn Kathir.
5) Eating & Drinking with them with love
Aisha โ May Allah be pleased with her โ said: When I drink water from the pot while in menstruation period and give the pot to the Prophet โ Peace be upon him โ he drinks from the same place which touched my mouth, moreover, during menstruation, I was eating from the piece of meat and giving the same to the Prophet โ Peace be upon him โ and the Prophet puts his mouth in the same place of mine.
[Ref: Muslim โ The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih โ Page or number: 300; Sunan Al Nasai, 281]
6) Not Complaining of their Circumstances.
Aisha โ May Allah be pleased with her โ said: I was combing the hair of the Prophet โ Peace be upon him โ while in menstruation.
[Al-Bukhari โ Book 6, Hadith 294]
It was narrated from Zaynab bint Abi Salamah that Umm Salamah said: โI got my menses when I was lying with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) under a single woolen sheet. I slipped away and put on the clothes I usually wore for menstruation.
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to me, โHave you got your menses?โ I said, โYes.โ Then he called me and made me lie with him under the same sheet.โ
She said: And she told me that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to kiss her when he was fasting, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and I used to do ghusl to cleanse ourselves from janabah from one vessel.
Note:
Janabah= Ritually impure due to having intercourse with the spouse and requires full shower preceded with the intention to remove it.
[Narrated by Bukhari 316, Muslim 296]
The Prophet โ Peace be upon him โ was telling Aisha โ May Allah be pleased with her: โI know well when you are pleased or angry from me. Aisha replied: How you know that? He said: When you are pleased with me you swear by saying โBy the God of Mohammadโ but when you are angry you swear by saying โBy the God of Ibrahimโ. She said: You are right, I just desert you name. In another narration the same tradition ended by saying: โNo, by the God of Ibrahimโ.
[Sahih Muslim, Book 31, Hadith 5979]
7) Leaning & Sleeping in their Laps
Aisha โ May Allah be pleased with her โ said: the Prophet โ Peace be upon him โ was leaning on my lap while in menstruation and read Quran.
[ Al-Bukhari โ Vol 1, Book 6, Hadith 297]
8) Going on Picnics & Accompanying Them
The Prophet โ Peace be upon him โ was casting lots between his wives when he wants to go out. Once, the Prophet cast a lot between his wives and the lot was the share of Aisha and Hafsa together. At night, the Prophet walks with Aisha and speaks to her. Knowing that, Hafsa told Aisha: Why don’t you ride on my camel, and I ride yours and see what happens? Aisha replied: okay.
Then Aisha rode the camel of Hafsa while Hafsa rode the camel of Aisha. The Prophet โ Peace be upon him โ then went to the camel of Aisha while Hafsa riding it, greeted her, and walked together until they got down.
Seeing that, Aisha felt jealousy and tried to put her leg between the lemon grass and say: O my Lord, send a scorpion or a sneak to sting me, this is your Prophet, and I can’t say anything to him.
[Sahih Muslim, Book 31, Hadith 5991]
A similar narration wherein Aisha (R.a) says that the prophet Peace be upon him would cast lots between his wives if he intended to go out is mentioned in Sunan Abu Dawood, book 12, Hadith 2138.
9) Helping them in the Household Duties
Aisha โ May Allah be pleased with her โ was asked about the manners of the Prophet in his home? She replied: He was helping in doing the family duties and when he hears the call of prayer he goes out.
[Ref: Bukhari, Vol 8, Book 73, Hadith 65, Book 1, Vol 11, Hadith 644]
Ayesha reported that the Holy Prophet used to mend his shoes, sew his clothes and work in his household just as one of you works in his own house. She also reported that he was a man among men who used to patch his clothes, milk his goats and engage himself in work.
[Ref: Tirmidhi]
10) Calming Them Down when they are Panicking
The Prophet โ Peace be upon him โ was putting his hand on the shoulder of his wife when she is angry and saying: “O Allah, forgive her sins, relieve her heart from rage and protect her from distress”.
Another Report narrates that Lady Safiyyah may Allah be pleased with her was on a journey with the Prophet peace be upon him. She was late so the Prophet peace be upon him received her while she was crying. The Prophet peace be upon him wiped her tears with his own hands and tried his utmost to calm her down
[Sunan Al Kubra, 9117]
The prophet knew that his supplications are heard, thus he makes the best use of it
11) Giving Presents and Showing Respect and Affection to their Friends
Aisha โ May Allah be pleased with her โ said: I have not ever been jealous of any woman more than Khadijah in spite of not seeing her. The Prophet โ Peace be upon him โ was slaughtering the sheep and says: Send it to the friends of Khadijah”.
One day I made him angry; I told him: Why Khadijah! The Prophet โ Peace be upon him โ said: “I was endowed with her love”. Another narration for this tradition ended in the story of the sheep without the remainder.
[Sahih Bukhari, Vol 5, Book 58, Hadith 166]
12) Expressing joy at their happiness
Aisha (r.a) said โI used to play with dolls in the house of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). I had friends who used to play with me. When the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) came in, they would hide themselves, then he would call them to join me and play with me.โ
[Bukhari 8:73:151 & Muslim]
Note:
Al-Haafidh Ibn Hajar said in Fath al-Baaree (Fath al-Baaree, no. 6130, Kitaab: al-Adab, Baab: al-Inbisaat ilaa an-Naas):
This Hadith has been used as a proof for the permissibility of possessing images= (suwar – of) dolls and toys for the purpose of the little girls playing with them. This has been especially exempted from the general prohibition of possession of images=(suwar).
13) Feeling Pleased when they are Glad
According to another report, she said that the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) came back from the battle of Tabuk or Khaybar, and there was a curtain in her alcove. The wind blew and lifted the curtain, showing some dolls with which โAโishah was playing.
He said, โWhat is this, O โAaโishah?โ She said, โMy daughters.โ Among them he saw a mare with wings made of leather.โ He said, โAnd what is this that I see in the midst of them?โ
She said, โA mare.โ He said, โWhat is this on it?โ She said, โWings.โ He said, โA mare with wings?โ She said, โHave you not heard that Sulaymaan had a horse with wings?โ She said, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) smiled so broadly that I could see his eyeteeth.
[Sunan Abu Dawood 4932]
14) Trying the best to make them happy
It was narrated that โUrwah ibn al-Zubayr said: Aโisha said: โBy Allah, I saw the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) standing at the door of my apartment when the Abyssinians were playing with their spears in the Mosque of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him).
He covered me with his cloak so that I could watch their games, then he stood there for my sake until I was the one who had had enough. So, you should appreciate the fact that young girls like to have fun.โโ
[ Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 443; Muslim, 892]
Aisha (r.a) reported: It was the day of celebration, and the Abyssinians were playing with shields and spears; either I asked the Prophet, or he asked me whether I would like to watch. I said yes. Then the Prophet made me stand behind him while my cheek was touching his cheek and he was saying, โCarry on, O Banu Arfida,โ until I became tired. The Prophet asked me, โAre you satisfied?โ I said yes, so I left.
[Sahih Bukhari, Book 15, Number 70]
It was narrated from Aโisha the mother of the Believers (may Allah be pleased with her) that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to pray sitting down; he would recite Qurโan when he was sitting down, then when there were thirty or forty ayahs=verses left, he would stand up and recite them standing up.
Then he did rukooโ, then Sujood=prostration; then he would do likewise in the second rakโa. When he had finished his prayer, he would look, and if I was awake, he would talk with me, and if I was asleep, he would lie down.
[Narrated by al-Bukhari, 1068]
Once the Prophet peace be upon him stared into his wifeโs eyes. He was gazing at the world within his wifeโs eyes. He then said to Lady Aisha may Allah be pleased with her in praise of her beauty, โHow white are your eyes”
[ุนููู ุฃูููุณู ุจููู ู
ูุงููููุ ุฃูููู ุงููููุจูููู ุตููููู ุงูููู ุนููููููู ููุณููููู
ู ููุงูู ููุนูุงุฆูุดูุฉู ุฐูุงุชู ููููู
ู: ยซู
ูุง ุฃูููุซูุฑู ุจูููุงุถู ุนูููููููููยป (ุฑูู
ุงูุญุฏูุซ 796) Kitab Al Fawaid 796]
15) Treating each one of them equally.
The Prophet would treat us fairly with regard to staying with us. He would visit all of us every day and approach each one of us without having sexual intercourse with any one of us, then go to the one with whom he would spend the night and stay with her.
When Sawdah bint Zamโah became old and was afraid that the Prophet might leave her, she said, โO Messenger of Allah, I will give up my day to โAโisha.โ The Prophet agreed. She said that for this case and similar ones, Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion.} [Quran 4:128]โ
[Abu Daawood, Al-Albani – Hasan Sahih]
Aisha (r.a) narrated: Sawdah (r.a) visited us one day and sat with one leg in my room and the other in her own. I prepared a meal called Khazeerah and said to her “Eat”. She refused so I took some of the food and smeared it on her face.
The prophet Peace be upon him laughed and raised his leg which was in her part of the house in order to help her get back at me. He said to her: You smear her face (now). So, she (Sawdah) took some of the food from the plate and smeared my face with it and the Prophet Peace be upon him laughed.
Khazeerah: a dish prepared by cutting meat into small pieces and covering it with water. When the meat is almost done, some flour is sprinkled on to it and cooked for a while.
[Sunan Al Nasaee, hadith no. 8197, It was collected by Abu Ya’la with a good narration (4496). According to its researcher – Hussain Muslim, the narration is Hasan and something similar is recorded in Majma’a az Zayid by Al Haythamee (4/316).
He said ‘ It was narrated by Abu Ya’la whose narrators were sound except Muhammad ibn Umar whose hadith is Hasan]
Related read: the issue of our prophet contemplating on divorcing Sawdah r.a and the controversies spewed by islamophobes on this topic are addressed here:
16) Racing and playing with them.
Aisha may Allah be pleased with her said: That she accompanied the Prophet on a certain journey. At that time, she was a mere girl and was neither fat nor bulky. The Prophet asked the people to move on, and they marched ahead. Then the Prophet said to me, ‘Come on, let us have a race’. Aisha says that she ran and remained much ahead of him.
The Prophet kept quiet for some time. Later on, when Aisha grew fat and loose bodied, she forgot the previous incident. Again, she accompanied the Prophet on some journey. The Prophet again asked the people to march ahead, and they moved ahead.
Then the Prophet again asked her to have a race with him. This time the prophet defeated her, and she lagged behind. Now the prophet laughed and said, ‘This is in reply to our previous defeat’
[Ahmad, Safwat al Safwah Vol I p68]
[Abu Dawood, Book 14, Hadith 2572]
[Ibn Majah, Hadith no. 2010, Sound by Albani in Irwa]
17) Saving them from any harm.
ุนููู ุงููููุนูู ูุงูู ุจููู ุจูุดููุฑู ููุงูู ุฌูุงุกู ุฃูุจูู ุจูููุฑู ููุณูุชูุฃูุฐููู ุนูููู ุงููููุจูููู ุตููููู ุงูููููู ุนููููููู ููุณููููู ู ููุณูู ูุนู ุนูุงุฆูุดูุฉู ูููููู ุฑูุงููุนูุฉู ุตูููุชูููุง ุนูููู ุฑูุณูููู ุงูููููู ุตููููู ุงูููููู ุนููููููู ููุณููููู ู ููุฃูุฐููู ูููู ููุฏูุฎููู ููููุงูู ููุง ุงุจูููุฉู ุฃูู ูู ุฑููู ูุงูู ููุชูููุงููููููุง ุฃูุชูุฑูููุนูููู ุตูููุชููู ุนูููู ุฑูุณูููู ุงูููููู ุตููููู ุงูููููู ุนููููููู ููุณููููู ู ููุงูู ููุญูุงูู ุงููููุจูููู ุตููููู ุงูููููู ุนููููููู ููุณููููู ู ุจููููููู ููุจูููููููุง
ููุงูู ููููู ููุง ุฎูุฑูุฌู ุฃูุจูู ุจูููุฑู ุฌูุนููู ุงููููุจูููู ุตููููู ุงูููููู ุนููููููู ููุณููููู ู ููููููู ููููุง ููุชูุฑูุถููุงููุง ุฃูููุง ุชูุฑููููู ุฃููููู ููุฏู ุญูููุชู ุจููููู ุงูุฑููุฌููู ููุจููููููู ููุงูู ุซูู ูู ุฌูุงุกู ุฃูุจูู ุจูููุฑู ููุงุณูุชูุฃูุฐููู ุนููููููู ููููุฌูุฏููู ููุถูุงุญูููููุง ููุงูู ููุฃูุฐููู ูููู ููุฏูุฎููู ููููุงูู ูููู ุฃูุจูู ุจูููุฑู ููุง ุฑูุณูููู ุงูููููู ุฃูุดูุฑูููุงููู ููู ุณูููู ูููู ูุง ููู ูุง ุฃูุดูุฑูููุชูู ูุงููู ููู ุญูุฑูุจูููู ูุง
Nuโman ibn Basheer reported: Abu Bakr came seeking permission to enter upon the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, and he heard Aisha raising her voice over the Messenger of Allah. He entered and said, โO daughter of Umm Ruman! Are you raising your voice over the Messenger of Allah?โ
So, the Prophet stood between them and when Abu Bakr left, he said to her, โDo you see how I saved you from him?โ
Then Abu Bakr again sought permission to enter upon the Prophet and he heard them both laughing. He entered and said, โO Messenger of Allah, allow me to share in your peace just as you have allowed me to share in your conflict.โ
[Related by Musnad Ahmad 17927, graded as Hasan – See the book of Dr. Ghazi al Shammari pg. 33 and Sahih ligayrihi by Albani]
18) Consoling and forgiving them in major issues
The incident of Ifk wherein some people fabricated a lie to slander our mother `Aisha (R.a) by spreading false tales against her adjoining her with another man. The incident is very lengthy, and the rumors spread like wildfire in the city of Madinah. Despite the immense hurt and pain, it caused the prophet Peace be upon him he came and said:
O โAisha, such and such [accusations regarding you] have come to my notice. If you are innocent then Allah will soon declare your innocence and if you did commit this sin then seek Allahโs forgiveness and repent, for verily when a servant confesses and repents, Allah will forgive himโฆโ
[Ref: Sahih Bukhari, Hadith: 2661 and 4141, Sahih Muslim, Hadith: 2770)]
Allah Knows Best
References:
Paul the False Apostle of Satan
The Incident of Ifk= the Slander incident of Prophet Muhammedโs wife Our Mother Aishah