The Thief, Jesus, The Promise, the Story, and the Lie

Text in question: Luke 23:43

”Jesus said to him, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise.’”

For the text to be true, as written, both Jesus and the thief would have to end the day in some location called Paradise!

John chapter 20, a story that occurs on the alleged resurrection Sunday, when Mary Magdalene finds the character Christ’s empty tomb. She talks with the Christ, thinking He is the gardener. When she realizes that He is the risen Lord, she moves to hug him BUT he said to her, ‘Do not cling to Me, for I have NOT YET ASCENDED to My Father; but go to My brethren and say to them, ““I am ascending to My Father and your Father, and to My God and your God.”’”

So, it’s clear from the story that the fictional character, according to the words put in his mouth, had NOT gone to heaven on the day he died. He still had not been there as of the alleged resurrection morning, which makes it 2(TWO and half days)

Quite often, Christian apologists make the excuse that the comma after the word ”today” was not part of the ”inspired” original writing, that it was misplaced by a translator and copied by everyone else subsequently.

Now, pray tell us, is God bothered by punctuation marks????

Besides, that ”misplace of comma ” argument is taken from The Jehovah’s Witnesses’ New World Translation of Luke 23:43: ‘And he said to him: “Truly I tell you today, you will be with me in Paradise’………..Since Christians claim Jehovah Witnesses are cultist, they cannot use the cultist idea!!

Also, it is quite clear from the story that the thief thought Jesus will resurrect him in the far FUTURE kingdom, but Jesus assured him that that VERY DAY, he would be with Jesus in paradise.

If the thief went to paradise immediately following death, then he reached Paradise BEFORE Jesus did because Jesus allegedly said He would be IN THE GRAVE during the three days and nights, immediately following the so-called crucifixion! Since Jesus was somehow dead and buried in the grave, then He could NOT have been WITH the “thief” in Paradise the SAME day.

if Paradise is indeed heaven, it was 43 days before Jesus got there, so by saying to the thief “You’re going to be there with me TODAY”, Jesus LIED’ big time!!


(1) which bible writer overheard the conversation between the two on the cross?

(2) where is the thief currently? In Paradise, heaven or still in the grave? Keep in mind false apostle Paul wrote that ”to be ABSENT from the body is to be PRESENT with the lord”.

(3) where exactly is Paradise and is that the abode of God?

Christians, let me hear your theological guesswork on this topic because I am certain you read 5% of the fictional bible stories and must think up the interpretation of 95%.